Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
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They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
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The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize