When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
