that's an acceptable place to lick
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
