If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
