chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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