What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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