The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
