We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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