She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
