Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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