Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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