Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
