woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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