Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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