When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
