yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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