wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
