Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
