i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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