pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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