Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
