The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
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I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
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I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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