i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
