And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Floor bacon is actually really good
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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