I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
