just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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