Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hate all girls vehemently.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
