I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
