when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
