Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
