He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
