no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
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Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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