Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
When are your genitals available?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
