He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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