Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
