Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
