you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
