her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
