would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize