i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
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She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
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so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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