So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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