and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
