If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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