addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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