By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
