So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize