I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
