It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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