I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
