I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
