You're so nebulous sometimes
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
