Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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