problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
