oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do vagina's smell?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
