ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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