So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize