Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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