so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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