I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
high people should be assigned attendants
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
