she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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