yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
