i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize