I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
