in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Floor bacon is actually really good
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
