I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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