Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am mentally ready for anal.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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