I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Found the puke drawer
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
