i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.