I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week